Some things never change, and I've learned (with plenty of practice) not to sweat the small stuff... Having said that, the small stuff can add up, and force this such woman to drink more, just saying! But, it's how we manage things (and drinking, be smart about it, don't over indulge, and if you do, once again be smart about it) on how well we survive.
To put this into context you might need to understand how I think, and where all of this came from. Let us look at the boy as say Adam, and the girl as say Eve. Do you know where God made each of them?... This seems relative into dealing with each species. I swear God has a sense of humor, and I see it often! Oh, and please don't be offended, I'm only speaking from what my experience has been as a female living in an all male house reading the bible, and drinking wine that has graduated to vodka. But I still get a little female credit because I am one, and a strong one at that! So...
Back to the desert, and garden. From the dry dusty dirty desert came Adam (with God's breathe of course, or so I believe from a bible scripture). On the other side, there's this beautiful garden where Eve was made from a rib of Adam. I can only imagine that God made Adam in the desert to play in the mud, get dirty, and act a fool. I suppose Eve was made in a place of beautiful smelling rose bushes that needed to be treated and appreciated gently, otherwise our thorns (aka Adam's rib) might just poke ya.
Fast forward a thousand years, and this is the only thing that doesn't make me lose my mind when I'm sitting in a room full of teachers, and my husband discussing why my son can't seem to stay in his seat, and keep his mouth shut. I blame it on Adam. Why not? The fall of man was blamed on Eve. And then the blame game begins. My son says it's not his fault, I say yes it is, and then my husband tries to calmly talk us all through how we're suppose to act. Oh for the love of Mary, the cycle continues. This isn't my first rodeo, nor his (but kinda his because I've always been the one to deal with our fabulous underpaid overworked educators). It was a lovely 30 minutes. But at the end, the kid is responsible for his own actions. His father and I are responsible for holding him accountable for those actions. He got a detention, lost his phone and computer privilege. This wasn't the first time, and it won't be the last. However, he will learn. I know he will because I have two older ones to prove it. (And they're still a work in progress too).
It's not gonna be easy. It's down right hard this parenting thing. But if you let them talk, and you teach them to listen (ie. close mouth and let you talk), it's all gonna be alright.
A few tips to help (this is for boys, might work for girls too, but I have no experience in that realm; except for a dog, lol):
1. Let them talk.
2. Don't be offended by what they say.
3. Trust is a two way street. (If they feel like they can talk to you, they will)
4. Be honest with them. Don't sugarcoat it. Shoot it straight.
5. They don't need to know everything, but if they ask, tell them. One day they'll be your friend, and appreciate the candor.
6. No is an acceptable answer.
7. Let them have consequences (good and bad) for their actions.
8. Teachers aren't paid enough.
9. Moms aren't paid enough.
10. Start the day with your bible, and end it with wine (or vodka).
11. Don't be afraid to talk about your Johnny to other moms. If their son is perfect, they're lying. There has only been one perfect dude, and He's not back yet!
12. #11 is going to hurt. It's hard to admit your child's faults, and not think they're your failures, refer to #7. And then remember it only took God 6 days to make our beautiful world, and the 7th he rested on. If you only remember one of the above remember #7. Rest in knowing that your sons (and daughters) learn best by living the consequence of their actions.
Happy living.Love, Jana